weirdo family watching me breastfeed…?
my in laws – more specifically, my mother in law – is freaking me out.
I have an 11 day old girl, and weve had some problems getting breastfeeding established, so im somewhat self conscious and unsure.
Whenever my mother in law comes to "help out" (consisting of her sitting beside the baby in her car seat, just staring at her for 4 hours and doing nothing at all "helpful") and i have to breastfeed, she comes over and like stares at the baby while shes nursing. Dont get me wrong, my mother in law is kind and sweet (and brings me pizza on her visits!) but it just unnerves me a bit…
I get stressed out, (i dont want this woman looking at my areola) and baby gets stressed and cant latch on.
What do i do? Ive tried covering her with a blanket but the mother in law comes and lifts it up so she can see better. I would go into another room, but if its just me and her i feel kinda bad … especially as she brings me pizza!
Help someone!
Tagged with: areola • breastfeeding • car seat • google • latch • mother in law • old girl • pizza • script type • stares • text javascript
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With your answer to my question about my dad was totally wrong, you have no idea what happens in my family, it isn’t like any other. My mums depression had nothing to do with the reason why i didn’t go to school. Hey, it’s one day missed from school (I am a good student and know that its important) But one day. I was crying and very angry and my mum said i can stay home. My dad had no right to be so rude about it, he is still angry at me today. I got home he yelled at me again?.
I understand your views on my story but just to let you know, most of what you said didn’t help me at all. thanks
if she lifts the blanket , put it back and tell her you are modest and feel more comfortable with the cover
You can say something like your going to feed my baby this is our time alone please don’t interrupt us.
Stress is NOT healthy for a baby who is having trouble latching, and it could make breastfeeding extremely painful if your baby doesn’t latch correctly.
Say: "I don’t want to upset you, Cindy, but I am uncomfortable being exposed while I’m breastfeeding. I just feel so embarrassed having someone else see my breast… Would you mind if we left the blanket on while I am feeding the baby? It would make me feel so much better."
Then remind her how much you appreciate all her little tokens of affection.
why dont you say, oh im kind of tired so im going to take a nap with the baby while she eats, so you dont feel bad. or even better askl your husband if he can come into the room when shes all over your face and be like, mom maybe we should give them some privacy. so it looks like hes noticing it too. or tell him to talk to her so you dont have to feel bad about it, like in a nice way. ex: my i think you should not bother my wife when shes feeding the baby, she feels a little overwhelmed since its her first time doing this and wants to be alone with the baby so that they can be relaxed. and when you are done feeding your baby give your baby to her so she can stare at her all she wants. shes probably so in love with your baby that doesnt even realize shes making you uncomfortable :0)
shes probably just remembering mothering her own child and misses the contact. when i feel uncomfortable with my inlaws i always have my husband talk to them. that way he knows how to put things to them that wont hurt their feelings since he knows them best. get your hubby on your side!
I don’t know why you’re even wasting your time asking for an answer. Just tell her what you’ve told us.
She actually lifts up the blanket? Dude, that’s friggin’ weird. You should be a little more assertive; your right to privacy is much greater than her right to… to watch whatever she wants, I guess.
ok thats a bit creepy.
i would just ask her to leave me alone, or id move to a different room and lock her out.
try talking to your husband, maybe he can ask her to back off.
as a young mother i kind of know the feeling its creepy but you need to let your mother in law know how you feel about it just politely say that nursing time is time for you and the bby to bond and she can spend as much time with the baby when your done but you would feel more comfortable with a little space with your new born baby
Oh! That would weird me out a little too. Just tell her, "hey could you just give me a sec, the baby gets a little stage fright when other people are around when she tries to nurse." When you’re finished ask her if she’d like to burp the baby so that she feels included. Maybe she forgets what it’s like to have a baby and needs some direction.
I would just say something like" Thank you for the pizza, but I think the baby is hungry so I will be right back" and go into the other room and breastfeed but I would still cover up just incase she trys to come in there or something. Maybe if you say it like that she will get the point.
The baby is getting stressed because YOU are, not because anyone is watching her feed.
You need to relax. Try to see breastfeeding as something that is completely natural. Women have been doing it for centuries and there is nothing "dirty" about showing your areola.
Until you can find a way to be comfortable about breastfeeding in front of other people, you need to either do it in complete privacy or have a frank talk with grandma about it and let her know she is freaking you out.
Just leave the room.
She has to understand that its kind of a private thing
If she feels put out shell just have to get over tit …sorry about the lame joke lol
Sounds like she is very much wanting to help.
Lifting the blanket is a bit weird I must say.
The best thing you can do is tell her NICELY that it makes you uncomfortable to be exposed and when you are uncomfortable it can disrupt the milk flow to the baby.
Some people are just like that…. But yeah, lifting the blanket…. eeekk.. Too much.
Let her know before you breast feed so that you don’t have to correct her during the process.
Just say this to her. She desperately loves that baby and is being a little "too" involved. Just ask her to let you nurse in private. Then let her hold the baby after you’re finished.
I gotta tell you, though, that I faced the opposite extreme. I’d got into a room alone, lock the door, and when I came out, my MIL would announce to the whole house that "That baby just wanted the tit."
Gah.
Ask if you can have some privacy for a few minutes.
And if you are having latching problems…get a nipple shield. You should be able to find it at Babies R us or Target…that’s where I bought mine. It’s a little plastic thingy that fits over your nipple & gives the baby a specific structure to hang on to. Sort of guiding/shaping your nipple into a good shape for the baby’s mouth. And if you’re stressed your problems will only get worse, my dear!
Just say something, she may not realize it’s making you uncomfortable.
oh i totally know what you mean. when i first started since i was having trouble i wanted privacy so i could relax and it seemed i hardly got it lol. eventually it got easy. Just tell her the truth and say look i am having trouble and i feel like i need to relax alone to get this right
DO NOT get a nipple shiled- it doesn’t fix your problem but only hides them and can make problem worse- it doesn’t teach either of you to latch properly and since baby doesn’t put direct pressure on the ducts it can reduce your supply
that is straight up creepy
I would ask for privacy…or go into another room that has a locked door. That might throw her a hint. I don’t think you should have to hide…but I don’t think I’d feel comfortable being watched like I was an entertainer either. Maybe ask your husband to talk to his mother about it…She just might be really wanting to see her grand baby.
You can also say that since you are having a hard time with baby’s latch, you’d like to be alone until you get it worked out properly.
That is creepy, reminds me of my stay at the hospital! I might as well just walked around nakid in my room with the amount of nurses I had to check on me and when I needed help to get Amber to latch on (which was a hopeless cause in my case, I was pushing out dust and they still tried to get me to breast feed with nothing coming out)
I think the funniest thing was the comments I would get on my tattoos (I have 3 stars on each side of my breasts…sounds trashy I know, but when you’re 16 you aren’t thinking about desency when getting tattooed until your 23 and you have to expose yourself to the whole nursing staff hahaha)
What I would do is to tell your MIL politely that having everyone around is so overwhelming and you just want to nurse her in private, and that you don’t really feel comfortable about exposing myself to others and if you needed some help that you will ask for assistence, just until you can get it established (or till your done bf’ing, but she doesn’t have to know for how long lol)